To Facebook or Not to Facebook? That is the Question.

The peer pressure is mounting.  I’m weakening, losing my resolve. I mean, I don’t want to get left behind…  stuck outside the circle…  or do I?

I have resisted the Facebook phenomenon because, for me, the reasons for joining are not all that compelling.  It’s fun!  Okay.  I’m always up for a good time.  But I’d rather go out for margaritas or a walk on the beach than sit in front of the computer.   It reconnects you with people from your past.  That intrigues me.  (I do occasionally wonder what happened to that guy I made out with in eighth grade.) But I’m fine with the memories and the friends I have today.  It’s the main way people are connecting now; it’s replacing email; if you don’t join in, you’re out of the loop.  That’s where I start to waver.

I have always waited and watched before jumping on the latest technology (or other) craze. I was the last to get an answering machine, and only when three frustrated friends chipped in and forced one on me for my birthday. Remember when Call Waiting was new?  My husband renamed it “Call Rude” and we cancelled after trying it for a short time.  When at last I gave my daughters permission to set up My Space pages, not wanting them to feel like social oddballs, I made them swear on their Converse All Stars that they would be responsible with their postings. My kids were late in the game getting cell phones and we added texting long after the majority were bumping into trees and parked cars as they walked home from school, texting all the way.

So here I am again.

A friend described Facebook as a big party. Everyone is invited; you just have to show up.  I have yet to do so.  For one thing, I can’t decide what to wear.  For another, I have never liked small talk and Facebook seems to me to be the ultimate small talk venue.  A bit like being locked in a room with all the people you’ve ever known, listening to all their conversations no matter how inane. But I am feeling oddly like I did when my friends were rushing sororities in college. I stayed in my room listening to Joni Mitchell and Dave Mason, drinking tea and writing.  I was happy right where I was and never felt the need for 60 best friends. But I did wonder back then if I was missing something.

It’s not just Facebook that I am resisting, though.  It is any of the portable electronic devices that people are increasingly tied to.   They are supposed to keep us all connected, but when I’m with people who use them, the buzzing, beeping noises coming from the things constantly interrupt our conversation, disconnecting us from the present.   People are unable to resist responding to calls, emails, texts and Facebook postings.  Sentences are left unfinished.  Thoughts are cut short.  As Jerry Seinfeld describes it in a routine, it’s like holding a newspaper up between you and your friend so you can check headlines throughout the conversation. 

Come on!  It’s rude!  If you did this – just started talking to someone else while I was in the middle of a sentence -- I’d first be offended but then cross you off my list as a jerk. Mainly, I see it as a dismissal of now.  Hold please!  Gotta get this call!  Oh – I’ve been waiting for this email, do you mind?  OMG, LOL, BRB.  What were we talking about?

In an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, the crew is exposed to a video game activated by a beam of light shot into the cornea.  The euphoric effects of the game cause instant addiction, rendering them unable to eat, sleep or function in their jobs. The writer was presciently suggesting the potential for addiction to technology.   The gamers’ forced anyone not yet hooked to try it. If you weren’t with them, you were a threat.  Luckily, the robot saved the day or the bad guys would have taken over the ship because the crew was numbed up, dumbed down, and incapable of rational thinking or defense. Draw whatever analogy you like.

A Google search on Internet addiction yielded 5,640,000 results; Video Games nearly 2,000,000 and Smart phones, 2,320,000.  Hmmm….

Studies show that endorphins are released in the brain when we view email, surf the Net or play video games.  Early experiments conducted by researcher, Herbert Krugman, revealed that brain activity while watching TV crosses from the left to right hemisphere, releasing a surge of the body’s natural opiates: Endorphins.  Which are structurally identical to morphine, codeine and heroin.  All addictive. Take a walk at night and notice the blue light emanating from the majority of homes. Those lights, once steady with an occasional flash as a scene changed, have become stroboscopic. Faster, faster, faster.  It becomes difficult to turn away.  You might miss something. 

I get it, I do.  The Internet is a fantastic tool.  Facebook was a major factor in the recent Egyptian Revolution. Within hours 60,000 people had information on their walls about what to do and where to go. Wael Ghonim, the activist who played a key role in organizing the protests, reached out to Egyptian youths on Facebook and told CNN that Facebook and the Internet were responsible for the uprising in Egypt. “I've always said that if you want to liberate a society just give them the Internet,” said Ghonim.

Now that’s something I wouldn’t want to miss.  That is the most compelling reason yet to sign on.   But we do have a choice as to how we use the technology.  Or if we allow it to use us.  For now, if you want to reach me, give me a call or email me.  Let’s get together.  But please, let’s put our thingies on “silent” until we’re finished talking.